Topsy Turvy Transitions, Understanding Our Subconscious Role

We all move through transitions—moving from one state of being to another, or moving through a rite of passage like the transition from adolescence to adulthood. With the increasing acceleration of ascension, all of humanity is being given the opportunity of moving from lower states of consciousness into higher states of consciousness. We’re moving from being in servitude to the old ways of being and doing things that hold the energies of expectations and blame, into more spiritually-aligned energies of gratitude, harmony and joy.

Symbolically, we’re all being pushed into the swimming pool whether we want to go or not. If you imagined someone coming up from behind you and doing just that, how you would feel? Angry, shocked, surprised, betrayed or maybe grateful, excited, exhilarated, or maybe a combination of those feelings.

There’s no wrong or right way to feel, just awareness of how you’re feeling and then being gentle and kind with yourself and others as we all navigate these huge shifts in human consciousness.


Same Old Same Old—No More

A desire to transition from one pattern of behavior to another occurs when we realize we don’t want to keep experiencing the same old pattern we’ve been experiencing. So, our soul calls a relationship or life experience to us that mirrors or amplifies our current pattern, and it usually comes with increasing pain or discomfort, until we recognize we’d like a different life experience.

As with all change in consciousness, the change must come first from within our self.

A friend of mine once asked me, “Why, out of the blue, am I hearing from two of my ex-boyfriends from years ago?”

“Time moves in cycles,” I replied, “not in a linear fashion. Because of that, we’ll have repeating experiences in our lives, maybe in the same life arena or a different one—job, relationship, or health—until we decide to change or upshift a thought, feeling, and behavior.  For example, your soul called these men to you again to see how you would feel about them now or think about the kind of relationship you had with them. You now can evaluate, without judgement of self or them, how you’ve grown. By grown, I mean how true you are being to yourself in being kind, compassionate, and in harmony with yourself. If you want to engage with them again, what is your motivation?”

If we’re in an emotionally distressing or abusive relationship, whether the relationship is with a family member, someone at work, a romantic relationship, or a conflict with a neighbor, we must first look within our self and ask, Why am I feeling so angry, sad, scared, or helpless in this relationship?


The Drama Triangle

There’s a common human dynamic that occurs termed The Drama Triangle according to Dr. Stephen Karpman. These relationship dramas are usually unconscious, however, once we become aware of the role we’re playing, we can consciously choose to activate and transition into a new, balanced behavior pattern.

The three roles in the triangle are Persecutor, Victim, and Rescuer. Even though we may feel we are acting out one role, it can change. A Victim may become a Rescuer or Persecutor. This is the example that Dr. Karpman gives:

Patty was staying with her friend Mary and Mary’s daughter, Ann. One day a pair of Patty’s earrings came up missing, and she asked if anyone had seen them. Everyone said, “no.” Suspicious of Ann, Patty went into her bedroom and looked in her jewelry box. And, the earrings were in there. Patty took them back and announced where she had found them. Patty was clearly the Victim here (of Ann’s theft). And, the Persecutor was clearly Ann (the thief). Mary became the Rescuer by chastising her daughter, Ann. However, Ann denied taking the earrings and all the roles suddenly switched. Now, Patty was seen as the Persecutor (falsely blaming Ann who was now the Victim). Mary stood up for her daughter Ann, and became the Rescuer. Then, asked Patty to leave her home which made Patty the Victim and Mary the Persecutor…and so the drama continues.

Anytime we have an expectation and blame, rather than taking personal responsibility for our feelings and behavior, we may be acting out of one of these roles, and our life pattern is up for personal evaluation.

We may not realize we’re in one of these societal roles until hurtful feelings occur. Karpman says the (unconscious) purpose is to act out a person’s Life-script, and maintain a psychological ‘advantage’ in relationships. The switching that happens between the roles generates the drama and painful feelings.


How to Restore Balance In Your Role

Awareness is the first step to change. The first step is to identify the role(s) you’ve been playing and ask soul-searching questions: Have I been playing one of these roles? Am I aware of personal family history with this role? What new action is called for to step out of this role and into feeling of inner peace and calm?

According to Karpman, “Other than survivors of floods, car accidents, shootings, etc. there are no Victims after age 18, just volunteers.

Persecutor Stance: “It’s all your fault.”

  • Sets strict limits unnecessarily
  • Blames and Criticizes
  • Keeps Victim oppressed
  • Is mobilized by anger
  • Has rigid, authoritative stance
  • Like a ‘Critical Parent’

If you find yourself in this Role, step out of the Drama Triangle by setting healthy, realistic boundaries and consequences.

Victim Stance: “Poor me.”

  • Feels victimized, oppressed, helpless, hopeless, powerless, ashamed
  • Looks for a Rescuer who will perpetuate their negative feelings
  • If stays in Victim position, will block self from making decisions, solving problems feeling any pleasure, and self-understanding
  • Maintains ‘dejected’ stance

If you find yourself in this Role, step out of the Drama Triage by getting help with problem solving.  

Rescuer Stance: “Let me help you.”

  • Rescues when really doesn’t want to
  • Feels guilty if doesn’t rescue
  • Keeps Victim dependent
  • Gives permission to fail
  • Expects to fail in rescue attempt
  • Like a ‘Marshmallow Parent’

If you find yourself in this Role, step out of the Drama Triangle by giving help without ‘enabling’ and allow the person (Victim) to learn, and grow, by solving their own problems.


New Action

Taking new action can be a scary step that brings up anxiety because we’re risking leaving a familiar comfort zone. If we’re feeling anxious, it’s helpful to get support and encouragement from other people.

The upside is when a trauma aspect within us is healed, there’s now energetic space for more light codes to enter in—mentally and emotionally perceiving life in new ways and our potential, the ability to step into our mastery rather than feeling like a victim. We release fear, manipulation, and controlling aspects of the ego and, instead, can respond from our soul aspect that feels trusting, steadfast, gentle, and humble.

If you feel ready to step out of the same old same old and shed your old skin, your soul and I can guide you into releasing what no longer serves you while opening you into greater expressions of love, light, harmony, and wellbeing. We can walk together through spirit-guided visualization activations during an intuitive session that realign you with your true, loving essence.

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