When a Relationship Goes South

Given my relocation to North Carolina, I became introspective about relationships saying, “Good-bye,” to friends and neighbors, knowing a major chapter is closing in my life, while another one is beginning.

We’ve all had relationships that ended. Some painfully, some by natural withdrawal and some by mutual respect. From our conscious level of awareness, we may have some realization that there is a disconnection happening.

At the spiritual level when a relationship ends, it is referred to as a ‘completion.’ I’m going to share what I learned about completion that has been enormously helpful to me and hopefully will be to you as well.

What we experience in the “Mirror Universe” in every relationship, situation or circumstance is a karmic balancing, a lesson/learning or a service.


We are here to expand. So when a location, job, organization or even a friendship begins to feel uncomfortable, sad, frustrating or confusing, it’s time for inner reflection and possibly shadow work.

Shadow work invites us to explore why we are feeling the way that we are and gets to the root of why. We call it shadow work because the information is below the threshold of our conscious mind, hanging out in the subconscious. The subconscious is the part of us that ‘doesn’t know what it doesn’t know.’

“Healing comes to the soul when it accepts and merges darkness with light.” ~ Isha Lerner and Mark Lerner

There are 3 basic obstacles to overcome in shadow work:

• feeling powerless, giving your power away

• feeling overwhelmed, becoming defensive, stuck or leaving

• feeling shame and embarrassment

There are numerous methods and techniques available today for this exploration. The process is well worth it  to keep us in our sparkle, purpose and joy.

After the shadow work, we may experience a healing and shift in consciousness.  Because we are immersed in the Universal Law of Attraction, we are mutually drawn to people, places even pets who ‘resonate’ with us. When that resonance changes or shifts, the relating shifts.

A shift allows relationships to either function at a higher octave, or fall apart. Additionally, there may be soul agreement contracts in play and, once fulfilled, each individual can move on free to go their separate ways. It’s okay and healthy to ‘let go.’

A first step in a completion process is to take personal accountability for whatever we are feeling. Examine and heal our fears, sadness, anger, guilt or envy so that we may land, eventually, in self-compassion, self-love and get our sparkle back!


I want to introduce you to a person who is being touted as the new Wayne Dyer–Teal Swan. Wayne Dyer was one of my first spiritual teachers. I feel Teal’s videos present a healthy, fresh, honest, spiritual perspective.

The Meaning of Pain by Teal Swan


Sadness breaks us open. It exposes the vulnerable heart and awakens us to the shift from the mind to the heart. Our heart welcomes us back with an embracing song of self-love and self-acceptance. This is a tender process which requires patience with yourself and garnering trusted support.

The magical aspect of this process is the gift of your new vibe–connecting with your ‘authentic self.’  In our authentic self, we feel safe, significant and whole. We have the confidence and courage to ask for what we want from the Universe and in our communication with other people.


Teal Swan’s video, ‘The Catch Up Effect’  explains why we fear growth. We fear growth because we fear losing people who we are attached to in our lives.


Why, and when, does anger surface during a completion?

1. A boundary has been crossed by another person, either consciously or

unconsciously, which feels like a violation or manipulation

2. A personal, subconscious wound is being triggered and needs to be cleared

3. There’s an indication for a call to action

Positively Embrace Your Negative Emotions by Teal Swan


The Ho’oponopono prayer is simple: I love you. I’m sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you.


There is tremendous change afoot, and we are all undergoing the pressing call for our spirits to grow and evolve. When undergoing a completion, whether it is with a relationship, a job, a neighbor or a location, here are some questions to ponder. These were offered from an intuitive healer during a group activation telesummit I attended:

• What aspect of your self are you not nurturing?

• What part of you wants to be unconditionally loved?

• Where do you still give your own power away?

• If it feels like a burden, it’s not yours to carry, surrender it.

May we honor our completions. May we have the courage to evolve and grow. May we continue to thrive as we self-actualize and claim our authentic self.

In light and peace,


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